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by thetanvi

I love where I am. I love where I work, I love where I live.

I appreciate it.

I wake up eager to stroll through one of the most lovely and livable neighborhoods I’ve ever witnessed. (disregarding some disturbingly snooty privileged vibes, juxtaposed with the park vagrants. how can we live like this?)

My commute: a mere 2 blocks. The organization I work for: built on a purpose, a vision, and an ethical standard which match my own. I get to work with those I admire the most on the causes that stir my heart. I get to study and research topics I am most curious about. I find my meetings, conferences, reading and calls fascinating. For this I’m told I’m lucky, even enviable.

I do feel lucky; I appreciate, count my blessings continually. I do find joy in where I am.

Ephemeral joy, no pure bliss. In fact, maybe one of my most defining characteristics is my continual discontentment. Never am I fully content with my decisions, my positions, my surroundings or even myself. Never am I at peace with the world around me or my current state of personal progress. However, I do accredit my savory situation to this restlessness, this constant critical analysis, this ceaseless seeking. My unwillingness to compromise, settle for anything less than what I wish, wishing always for what is not.  No acceptance of the status quo, the set standards. I am resistant, defiant, critical, yes, perhaps overly anxious, strict, and lofty with my ethics, ideals.

But all this has brought me to where I am, an amazing place. Exactly where I sought to arrive. From here where do I seek to go?

I seek to find peace along with this purpose. To be content with I am, to trust that I am deserving of love, and trust my love deserving enough to share. Peace is complete trust. Trusting myself, and the world to open up to. This does not mean I must compromise my commitment to instigating positive change, seeking solutions to our ills. Rather, this means overcoming ego. Above all, cultivating compassion. I am always desiring just what I cannot have, and sure this instinct has brought me this far. But to find peace, to enjoy where I have arrived, calls for letting go of attachment, of ego.  No seeking personal power, dominance, desires, pride. To put other’s needs before my own. To serve the greater good, rather than personal whims. To enjoy life, to connect with others, to love myself- for the sake of positivity, I must work to progress, to change. Improve.

I write for myself, but post a public and running reminder of where I will take myself next.

In the spirit of appreciating and loving my life: This week’s picks for favorite things about life in DC-

  • ‘Vegetable Garden’- Organic, healthy, creative asian food at a low-key setting
  • Jazz in the sculpture garden, the national mall has truly beautiful architecture & landscaping. I stare like a tourist every time even though I live few blocks away & drink in the scenery routinely.
  • The parks & public spaces prevalent in this place
  • Volunteering with the many inspirational initiatives- this week: rooftop garden at Bread for the City
  • Discovering new ways to give back to the community & needy
  • Having a reason to play dress up now & then
  • the tools and resources to find & follow my inspiration & passion! =)
  •  Eastern. Flea/Art/Farmer’s Market. Every. Week.
  • The existence of so many places serving amazing seasonal local noms.
  • Outside perspectives (when childhood friends who stayed in greener Germany genuinely adore and admire my living situation, it really does mean something to me, considering all my longings to return to a more sustainable and traditional way of life from which I originated)
  • Talking to my grandparents in India… heartwarming/heartbreaking (aging is a fact of life, inspired to live every moment to the fullest, to practice enjoying it all with abandon, laugh at everything, accept others and include friends and colleagues more fully in my life, and to sharpen and develop my intellect. I have an inspiring family.)
  • Proximity & transit-ability to the sahahome.
  • Staying connected with oldschool friends. =)
  • The opportunity to meet and discuss with endless new people who share my values. (good food, anyone, everyone?)
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